"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made
in the secret place, when I was woven together
in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my
unformed body; all the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139: 13-16
Monday, April 7, 2014
So you can hear it from me..
I have had a lump that we have been watching for a while. The original diagnosis was a galactocele which is a milk cyst. I was still nursing at the time so we waited until 6 months after I was done and repeated the ultrasound. It was fine, and smaller, but on that exam the doctor found a new lump- one that I hadn't even detected myself. We've been watching both now for over a year, and three weeks ago at a regular follow up my doctor discovered that both lumps had grown, so I had biopsies done of both. The original lump is a benign fibroadenoma, and the one that my doctor found came back with atypical cells. This past Thursday I had a lumpectomy. Tonight, my doctor called and when the conversation started with "I'm afraid I don't have good news", suddenly I knew that moment would be frozen in time for the rest of my life. I know because I have been here before. Meghan's diagnosis day is similarly etched into my heart and mind.
I don't know much other than it is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, and the plan will be to have a mastectomy and probably chemo. They are in the process of typing the tumor for hormone receptors. We meet with my doctor tomorrow to discuss the entire plan, and get me set up with I'm sure a whole lot more appointments. At least we are used to handling those:)
I am still totally in shock. Trying to wrap my mind around what this will mean for our family in the weeks to come is pretty tough. Uncertainty is something I am becoming familiar with, and if I have learned anything from having Meghan, it's that there is good in everything. Especially the hard things. We prayed before my surgery that the will of God would be accomplished. That whatever happened, it would be part of his perfect plan for my life. So my prayer now is that He will use this too for His glory, and that He will protect my family in the process.
Tonight I am resting in the everlasting arms of God. The one who Knit Me Together. I am afraid, and upset, and completely reeling, but I choose to believe that there is a purpose for all this, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will bring me through. After all, He gave me these two beautiful girls to help get me through....
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Thank you to Sarah Marie Photography for her talent and giving us these amazing images of the girls!