So you heard it from me, again.

Oh how I wish I wasn't writing this one. I have avoided writing for some time. I mentioned in my previous post that writing forces me to process. Sometimes life hands you more than you want to process.

I got a call today from my oncologist's nurse, telling me that I likely have a recurrence of breast cancer. I have been dealing with back issues for a few months, and have gone through PT/resting/walking (which for those of you who know me, is pretty tough). I am used to being super active. Around Thanksgiving, I got what I thought was a cold, and the cough just never really went away- I just chalked it up to a bad viral season. A couple weeks ago I started with a little sense that I should at least speak up about my symptoms. For those of us in the medical field, it is really hard to be your own advocate- we are often afraid of seeming crazy, and I didn't want to be the crazy former cancer patient with "symptoms". At any rate, I had an MRI of my back which was all clear, but when I developed the cough, and my back pain had not improved, my oncologist decided to order a PET scan. I never dreamed they would find something in my lung.

As of right now, the plan is to figure out if we can biopsy the lung or one of the lymph nodes that are showing up on the PET scan. That way we can tell if it's a new cancer, or a recurrence of the breast cancer. The information I got today from the on call oncologist was that they think it is likely a recurrence of my primary cancer, and that treatment will be focused on prolonging my life. Not kidding. I pray that somewhere in there, someone is wrong.

BUT if they aren't, that's where we are. And I wanted you to hear it from me, just like the first time.
I will do my best to keep everyone up to date on the plan. For now, just know that I am so grateful for everyone's prayers, and we are trusting God for big things. We have seen Him work in Meghan's life- healing her in ways that I may never understand. We trust He is sovereign, but know He is weeping right along with us today.

Right now, all I can do is be still, and Know. And I'll dust off the blog in the process.

Love to you all,

Sarah