Knit Me Together: Standing on Hope

December has nearly come and gone, and with it, the end of another year. This month has been remarkably good for us. Meghan’s surgery on the 10^th went well, and we already see an improvement in her breathing. The morning of her surgery began a little rocky. I had gotten up early to get myself ready to spend the day at the hospital. I heard Meghan cry out in pain- unusual for her. When I opened the door to her room and saw that her feeding tube extension was uncharacteristically far from her body, I knew what had happened. Unzipping her jammies confirmed it- the extension had wedged between the crib and the mattress and when she rolled, it pulled her intact g-tube balloon out through her stoma (the opening where the tube goes through from the stomach to the skin)- think water ballon through a straw, only the straw is her skin. Ouch. I quickly grabbed the spare we have, and attempted to replace it. Time is of major importance, and they were not kidding when they said the stoma closes quickly. I couldn’t get it back in. We packed up pretty quick and headed downtown, where the surgical Nurse Practitioner and resident met us and tried to replace it. No dice. After a half hour of torture (I’m pretty sure everyone in the room was sweating), they called it off and hoped for better luck once she was under anesthesia and more relaxed, the alternative being that they would have to create an entirely new stoma. Many prayers were lifted, and thankfully, they were able to replace it through the old one. Major relief is an understatement. Despite the stress and rough start to the day, the morning’s events turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The tube we’ve had since September had been leaking- not enough that I even thought it was an issue, but enough that when she developed the infection and granulation tissue it was probably preventing it from healing. After battling that for almost 2 months, she got the new tube and her stoma quickly healed and is back to normal. I am still sorry that I didn’t put that together for her, and so grateful that Jesus was watching over her. When that tube came out I thought- “Lord! We have been praying for healing! Not more drama!” Little did I know. Sometimes the answer to prayer means enduring something harder, to get to what is ultimately better. I am so grateful for a God who knows better than I do, and is always in control.

Since then, we’ve had an easy month! Only one follow up, and therapy has been light with the holiday break. We’ve enjoyed some great days at home, and the girls enjoyed Christmas with our family. Addie was especially fun this year, fully comprehending the season and celebrating with exuberance and joy. You should see her rendition of Joy to the World- it comes complete with interpretive dance! Meghan has been itching for new toys to play with- things that would encourage her development. She’s really outgrown most of the baby toys, but finding things to occupy her developmentally while accommodating for her mobility can be a challenge. Fortunately the Christmas season was upon us, and Fisher Price had a solution (or ten). Her big gift this year was the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Learning Home (parents of toddlers…this is one toy that is worth it!! Well designed, and lots of funJ) Recently she has begun to bear weight on her legs for a few seconds. We’ve been encouraging this like crazy. It’s far from standing on her own, and she has a long way to go but her two feet are ON THE FLOOR. Today she noticed that a toy on her new little home was accessible, but out of reach when you are sitting on the floor. She looks at me, reaches up her arms and I helped her to stand and reach the wheel. Elation! She knows. She knows, and she’s fighting to get there. I am so fiercely proud of this little girl. No matter how small, these are the moments that I am sure I will remember for the rest of my life.

2013 is coming to a close, and we are filled with hope. Hope that does not depend on circumstance or season, because it is tied to our Savior. May your holiday season be filled with joy, and your 2014 filled with the kind of hope that never fails.