"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made

in the secret place, when I was woven together

in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my

unformed body; all the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139: 13-16

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Complications, and Courage.

What a day. Today was the kind of day that has me appreciating even more the couple of great weeks we had with Meghan.  Just like that, we’re headed for the hospital tomorrow, this time to be admitted. When we turned her shunt setting back down several weeks ago, Meghan’s symptoms went away for the most part. We all expected that her fontanelle’s would sink in again, and that the swelling around her shunt would go back down. They never did, but she was acting better- smiling, laughing, improving her skills- we thought that maybe it would just take some time. The last few days she has been a little off- almost hard to put your finger on, and everyone knows babies have off days. Yesterday her shunt was really swollen so I emailed the neurosurgeon and she scheduled us for another Ultrasound- this time of both her brain and her abdomen, to check and see if the fluid was absorbing in her belly as well (this could be another cause of shunt malfunction- both ends have to work correctly!). Unfortunately, the ultrasound showed that her ventricles had increased in size from the ultrasound she had last month- a sign of shunt failure. There is also something “weird” in her ventricle by the shunt catheter. It’s difficult to tell what it is, and some possibilities might be infectious material or blood. So in the office today, Dr. R. took some of the fluid off of her shunt with a needle and sent it for analysis. After we got home, she called and said that the white blood cell count was high, and the glucose levels were low- indicating an infection, however they didn’t see any bacteria when they looked at it under the microscope. So our plan now is to be admitted to the hospital tomorrow morning, have the MRI done under anesthesia, and have a consult with Infectious Disease. Dr. R. says that the shunt will have to be replaced and it will just be a matter of when and how it happens. Right now Meghan is scheduled for surgery Friday morning for a shunt revision, but it’s hinging on what the MRI shows. We should know more tomorrow after the MRI.
This is the part that gets hard. It was scary when she had her first surgery at 5 days old, and believe me this is not any easier.  It is impossible for me as a mother, (and I am sure ANY mother facing a health issue with their child) to understand why this is happening. Joe reminded me on the drive home today that God already knew this was going to happen, and it is His plan for Meghan, and for us. Although I do not know what will happen yet in the next couple of days, I do know that He has shown Himself to be faithful and will carry her through. “Trust in the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5) I am claiming that truth today.
We are praying for strength, protection, and wisdom for everyone involved in her care, and thank everyone who is praying right along with us.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."(Joshua 1:9)
My sweet girls!

Why we were worried...

Being a major trooper for her ultrasound, and this was AFTER they did her brain!


  1. Praying for you all!! Keep holding on to God's truth Sarah. Jesus be near tomorrow, Jesus be near. xoxo
    PS love all the photos of her precious smiles...they always make me smile :)

  2. praying, praying so very hard for you all, Sarah. I pray especially for you, for God to give you an overwhelming feeling of peace and calmness in your very core ... know without a doubt that HE will carry you through everything, no matter what it is. Look back! See how far Meghan has come... all that she has overcome ... how God has been there every step. He won't fail you now. Hard to see in the midst but you WILL look back next week, next month, next year and see it!

  3. Praying for all of you. May God hold you close as you walk through this with precious little Meghan. May you feel Him near. My heart is with all of you.

  4. Always praying for little Meghan, but especially right now as you walk through this complication with her. Praise God you are holding on to Jesus and trusting in His sovereignty for her precious life, what a perfect place you stand in. Praying for continued peace from Him for you and Joe, a peace that surpasses all understanding. Her sweet smiles always make me smile too. She has captured all our hearts.

  5. I'm always thinking of you all and praying for you all, that you continue to float upon your faith and enjoy the journey.

  6. Your family is always with you and praying for you...though we can't be by your physical side through this journey, we are with you and you, Joe, Addie and Meghan are in our hearts every moment. Your strength and courage are an inspiration beyond any understanding in this world. You're one of the most amazing women I know, Sarah and I love you dearly cuz. xoxo