"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made

in the secret place, when I was woven together

in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my

unformed body; all the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139: 13-16

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Meghan Grace

            The day we found out about the hydrocephalus we both discussed the fact that we thought we should name our little girl. I could hardly come up with anything since we had such a time trying to name Addison. The next day my husband went hunting and while sitting in a tree in the woods he decided on her name. I got a text message that said: Meghan Grace. I love the name, and I love that he named her.

Today we had a follow up Ultrasound with our perinatologist. First the good news: her ventricle sizes have NOT changed in 3 weeks (we were nearly promised that it would just continue to get worse). We believe this is a SERIOUS answer to prayer- Praise God, and thank you to everyone that has been so faithfully praying for this baby and for our family. We know that it is still severe and the prognosis remains unchanged, but we are very thankful for small miracles at this point. Our doctor said it was encouraging that we may make it to 39 weeks if all goes well but that we will still need to have a C-Section as her head is still measuring 2-3 weeks larger than it should be (if anyone knows of any places to get cute hats for newborns, let me know). The not so fun news is that at our first scan we were unable to visualize her left kidney, but that issue was mostly overshadowed by finding the hydrocephalus. When he checked again today we were told that she doesn’t have a left kidney, and that there is no blood flow through an artery to suggest that one is there. As long as the right kidney is functioning properly and there are no other urinary abnormalities this will hopefully not affect her at all- so that is good. However since we now have “two anomalies” he is sending us to see a pediatric cardiologist to have him check her heart. At both ultrasounds we’ve had her heart looked good, but as defects tend to travel in groups he wants to make sure.

Its been 3 weeks since we learned of Meghan’s condition. I have had some time to think, process, and accept the diagnosis, and all the unknowns that come with it. I have really learned to begin living one day at a time. Sometimes one task or one emotion at a time is all I can manage, but I know that the Lord is carrying me through all of this. He’s helped me see clearly something I realized a long time ago but never confronted. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. My own life events plus working in the medical field for 12 (gulp) years has taught me that bad things happen to people- every day. People get sick, loved ones die, and unexpected tragedy befalls people more often than any of us would like, but that is the reality of living in a fallen world. We could have been given a healthy child, but there are no guarantees at what her life would have looked like. Life is precious, and very fragile. It would be very easy to have allowed this knowledge and experience to consume my hope a long time ago, but I believe my faith has kept me from doing that. Now more than ever I am trying to take each day as it comes, savoring the sweet moments I am given with my daughter and my family, and being very thankful that for now, I can carry this little girl safely inside me. Her life has already blessed me so much, and she is not even here yetJ

Thank you to everyone that has sent us cards and emails with such kind, encouraging words. Thank you to our church family who continues to lift us up in prayer. And thank you deeply to my friends and co-workers who have been so supportive during the last 3 weeks. Your friendship has been overwhelming, and means more than you know.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful name and so precious that it came from her Daddy. Continuing to pray Sarah xoxo